The Last Lecture

I got to know about Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture while browsing through Astro channels last week. Maybe I was feeling a bit down or 'pms'ish at the time that I decided to watch Oprah (I never watch Oprah unless her guests are some celebrities trying to explain scandals implicating them. Oooo yeahhh I LOVE meaningless celebrity gossips hehe!).

Anyway, I didn't watch the whole show but I got the gist of his story - he's a professor in CMU and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and only has 3-6 months to live. He delivered an inspiring 'last lecture' in CMU last September about "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" which was actually meant for his young kids. Okay, dah start sedih di situ.

Then yesterday I came across the book version of that lecture in MPH.


I went straight to the last section of the book where he wrote some last words for his kids and before I know it...there and then 'banjir' okayyy! See, I admit that I am the kind of person who cries easily reading books and watching movies but this is different. Baru few pages reading the book, I already had some chest pains (must be from the muffled, choked cries I'm trying not to unleash) and blurring vision (maybe due to tears welling up...or maybe 'habuk masok mata'. Banyak habuk kat situ wooo hahaha!). Here's my favourite part of the book:

There are so many things I want to tell my children, and right now, they’re too young to understand. Dylan just turned 6. Logan is 3. Chloe is 18 months old. It pains me to think that they won’t have a father. When I cry in the shower, a percentage of my sadness is, “I won’t, I won’t, I won’t…” But a bigger part of me grieves for them.

I keep thinking: “They won’t… they won’t… they won’t.” That’s what chews me up inside, when I let it.

I know their memories of me may be fuzzy. That’s why I’m trying to do things with them that they’ll find unforgettable.

Dylan and I went to swim with dolphins. When a kid swims with dolphins, he doesn’t easily forget it. I’m going to bring Logan to Disney World, a place that I know he’ll love as much as I do.I’m aware that Chloe may have no memory of me at all. But I want her to grow up knowing that I was the first man ever to fall in love with her. I’d always thought the father/daughter thing was overstated. But I can tell you, sometimes, she looks at me and I just become a puddle.

Aaaa...sedih gileee!!! Now, if you don't feel anything after reading that, something is really wrong with you mannn...